Cygnus Character Bio

THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF CYGNUS, THE MASTER OF THE ORDER

I, Cygnus, Archmage and the Master of the Order, hereby declare myself to be a man very, very, very well advanced over the age of majority and of sound mind and body. Therefore, in that capacity, I declare that this is my LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT and, without living family or heirs, will herein define how my funeral arrangements, estate, and personal effects should be discharged in the case of my demise.

As for my funeral arrangements, I am not terribly concerned about them. The normal pomp and circumstance afforded a member of the Order is fine, but I would rather be cremated than the normal burial practice. Those red coffins are garish, and I have always found the practice of an "open casket" funeral to be revolting. Let Prof. Lavender pick out a nice urn for me. She has lovely taste in furnishings.

In lieu of pallbearers, I would like my pupil, Gabriella, to carry my ashes. Yes, Gabriella. Though Maximilian is my protégé, I cannot trust him not to "spike" my urn and do that bizarre dance of his before the altar. Despite her past transgressions, I trust Gabriella can approach the occasion with the somberness that it deserves. However, Maximilian may eulogize me at the service if he promises not to say the following words in reference to me or the Order:

Buttloads Geezer Old fart Mr. Wrinkles Adm. Greybeard Wench Moist

After the ceremony, I would like my ashes to be stored somewhere in the Order's Great Library where I have spent many a day reading or having a very good nap.

As for my estate, I'm afraid that there is not much to dispense. I have some stock in a company that makes trap components, and I am a silent partner in a venture to try to harness the power of lightning to light homes in place of torches. It sounds silly I know, but the pitch was very convincing. Perhaps one or both of those will be valuable at some time in the future. I also, of course, receive dividends from the Order's business ventures. All of this I leave to my pupils, Maximilian and Gabriella.

My personal effects are unfortunately many. I am bit of a collector. I have 1,056 Fuzzy Buddy animal toys--special editions and color variants with the ear tags still attached! I have to say the pink variant, two-headed, arctic sabretooth (limited run and numbered two out of 500) is my favorite and probably quite valuable.

My Wulfhawkinman memorabilia is also quite extensive (and yes, I own an official Wuflhawkinman costume), as is my collection of futuristic weaponry based on the props from the Galaxy Path novels, one-third rulebooks and settings for Caves and Creatures campaigns, and the last third is my Playwizard collection which of course I have kept for the articles. These collections may be liquidated if no one wants them. The proceeds should be split between Gabriella and Maximilian.

Of the objects I would like to bequeath, I have a bit of furniture, a collection of scrolls dating back to the beginning of recorded time, and a rug gifted to me by the grizzlies made from yeti pelt. I would like the furniture to go to my dear friend Prof. Finnregan, the scrolls to Gabriella (as many times as she has referenced them in her research, she might as well have them), and the rug to go to Maximilian. The rug itself disturbs me. Yetis are humanoid, and I'm not entirely sure this is a yeti. It might actually be a very hairy Northmun. In either case, I now see how disturbed the grizzlies would be with our practice of having bearskin rugs (also, don't get it wet--it smells awful). And yet Maximilian makes a puppet out of its head almost every time he is in my office, so I will leave the ghastly thing to him. If I wasn't worried about the grizzly envoy coming and not seeing it on display, I would give it to him now.

However, there are certain contingencies for which I feel I must prepare. The above assumes that I die of natural causes. What is unfortunately more likely is I will die in combat with the Unchained. In case of this occurrence, I have a different set of instructions.

If I die in battle, then I do not want a funeral. The Order should not be wasting time on such trivial matters if we are still fighting the Unchained. Carve my name in the crypt somewhere and have done with it. Clearly if I am killed by the Unchained, then I have failed and so have my pupils. Maximilian in particular refuses to get his act together. He would rather nap, belch, and chase girls than save the world.

Because of this, in case of my death in battle, my estate, my possessions, and their proceeds will go to Gabriella--even the rug.

Yes, Gabriella.

I know that if I fell in battle, Gabriella would be doing her best to fight off the Unchained at my side. I cannot say the same for Maximilian. In fact, it would not surprise me if my death was in some way precipitated by that lunk-headed boy.

Do you hear me, Maximilian? The rug goes to Gabriella! Shape up, or my death and whether or not you get my yeti rug will be the least of your worries! The Unchained are coming, and if you don't stop them, everything you know and love will be gone, and I may not be there to help you.

But know this: both of you together are capable of defeating the Unchained with or without me. You just have to try. And that is the message I leave with you.

I, Cygnus, Archmage and the Master of the Order do hereby declare that the above are my last wishes and should be fulfilled no matter the circumstance.

Signed, Cygnus

WITNESS SIGNATURE: Prof. Rodergo WITNESS SIGNATURE: Prof. Tulania